I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitely small, is not exactly zero.
If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.
I am the beef patty in your burger, the secret pocket of your pleated dress, the mint in your chapstick, the jump button in your remote control, the spring in your step, the last piece of uneaten cookie in your jar, the shuffle feature on your iPod, the wire in your wonder bra, the genius of your victorious choices, the wisdom beneath your inevitable failures, the dexterity of your metacarpals, the bittersweet aftertaste of a cup of steaming hot chocolate, the cool side of your pillow, the remnants of a fleeting dream, the noise of utter silence, the scent of the yellowed pages of your beloved book, the last drop of tequila swimming in your veins. I am Issey. I am the goddess of the pork swords.
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