The Pork Sword Chronicles

Catastrophe

2009-10-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

Never have I felt so safe in the comfort of my home. As floodwaters swooped in on a sleepy Manila I was jolted into reality by the images of people stranded atop their roofs, corpses of people and animals littered the murky waters, buildings, roads and vehicles torn to bits by the rush of floodwater. It made me realize how incredibly fortunate I am to be with my family, with our home intact, away from the catastrophe that is Ketsana.

To Jacque something: Get down from your moral high horse. Nobody deserves to live through the tragedy of losing loved ones. You are not a saint because you happened to be somewhere far when Ketsana happened to pass by Manila, you're just one lucky bitch. But next time, maybe you won't be as lucky and I sure as hell hope for your sake that you don't go through the pain that the victims went through when they lost their homes and their families.

No more bad vibes from now on. This blog has got to live up to its name. Pigs are happy and ridiculous. Life is too short for the catastrophes and the Jacques of the world.

The victims need the following:

1. Food (preferably packed in biodegradable materials such as banana leaves Chuvaness recommends purchasing from Binalot)

2. Potable water

3. Medicines and first-aid kits

4. Warm Blankets

5. Clothes

6. Toiletries

7. Sanitary Napkins

8. Diaper

9. Tetanus toxoid vaccines

10. Breastmilk (Diarrhea is a big problem in the relocation camps)

Let's not forget that the animals need all the help they can get. Please send in the following:

1. Cat and dog food.

2. Cages with roofs

3. Warm blankets

PAWS is located in Katipunan. Call 475-1688.

You may send in your donations to Luca located at the Powerplant Mall and you may send in funds through this site. Donations can also be made via SmartMoney (5577-5144-1866-7103) or

GCash 0917-9751092.

Those interested to volunteer with the Red Cross can call the following numbers: Pasay (02) 8542748, 4343751; LasPinas (02) 8734873, 4689688; Pasig (02) 6350922; Alabang (02) 8093132; Manila headquaters (02) 5245787, 5270864.

Veruca's List: I Must Must Must

2009-09-14T06:58:00.001-07:00

Have this dress. It's imperative.

From Christian Siriano's fall collection at NY Fashion Week.

Sartorial Imperilism

2009-08-27T06:18:00.000-07:00

So sorry, I have not been updating this sad excuse for a blog in quite a while. The last post was a rant and I don't want to leave things on a sour note. Many things are currently keeping me busy. Will try harder to post regularly. Meanwhile, I know everyone's been secretly fantasizing about being shot by the sartorialist. Here is a pretty helpful algorithm for y'all.

This month I have....

1. Gotten myself a pretty decent job.

2. Quit the said job due to shamelessly indecent monetary compensation.

3. Met a great guy. See photo below.

4. Realized the great guy is and will always be gay.

5. Realized once again, that this will not stop me from loving him.

6. Deluded myself into thinking I can make him want tacos instead of wieners. My taco, in particular.

7. Accepted the cold hard truth that the great guy is allergic to tacos.

8. Gotten myself into a same sex relationship with the aforementioned great guy. And no, we are not having sex. Pathetic, I know.

9. Received my first paycheck.

1o. Discovered that the anticipation of getting my first paycheck felt much better than the real thing.

11. Discovered a truly reliable shipping service and will be making future transactions and purchases soon.

Ponder this, Why the fuck are there so many gorgeous gay men? Is this in order to spite women? Is gay the new black? I've heard Chuck Bass will kiss a dude in the 3rd season of GG, what the manolo blahnik is going on with the world?

The Apple That Fell Too Far From The Tree

2009-08-20T04:52:00.000-07:00

They call it keeping up with the Jones's. I call it my great misfortune. There are days when I wish I could untangle myself from this web of lies my whole life has been entwined on. For the people who know us, we are happy. My father is the life of the party, charming and gregarious. His wife, obedient and dutiful stays at home to watch over the kids. And the kids, attractive, smart and well-behaved never get into trouble. They meet me, recognize my family name. Their eyes light up. I come from a wealthy family, good genes, good track record. They look at me and think, she'll do well. After all, the apple never falls far from the tree.

This is one of those days. I am torn. When you have lived with tragedy for so long in your life, it becomes the norm. Then you get tired of being miserable and angry all the time, so you find the ridiculous. You laugh until you run out of air. It's like your life has become this one big joke and you finally get it.

I am torn between anger and boredom. Nothing has changed. Everything is in its place. There's mom ever the martyr, hoping and praying things will get better. There's my sister who thinks she isn't good enough, my brother who is mad at the world. There's me who knows that someone else's child will always be better for you. Then there's you dad, the kid with the magnifying glass lighting up an ant hill.

I'm tired and bored. I know I will never be good enough for you. And I just don't give a fuck anymore. I can live without you. My life would be much much better without you. So why don't you save us all the trouble and get it over with?

Hannibal Lecter's Beauty Secret

2009-08-04T05:29:00.000-07:00

Yes folks, I'm not shitting you.

What a way to scare off that annoying neighbor's child.

Tears, hair wax thievery and suddenly missing the ex

2009-07-08T05:56:00.000-07:00

Sup, Betches?

What a week.

It's sunday night and I feel drained. I need something to perk me up bad. I've just began my training as a volunteer nurse. Any feverish anticipation I might have felt these past few days for my upcoming training was completely overshadowed by the dread and the panic that swiftly crept up my neck. The Visayas Mindanao Debate Championship (VMDC) is highly anticipated by debaters, adjudicators and debate enthusiasts from Visayas and Mindanao. This year my univ was given the honor to host the 3rd VMDC. My best friend and I had been planning last year to join as a team. After the November Board Exams I researched about various topics to prepare for the tourney. I missed debating. I spent the past year studying for the board exams. My life was a tedious cycle of study-lecture-study-exams. We were housed in a beach front dormitory. TV and internet access were banned. We were basically locked up for two months in a boot camp.

Anyways, The VMDC is slated to take place two weeks from now. Debaters from the other schools were beginning to become agitated. Invitations had not been sent, specific dates were not posted. We were thrown into a harried frenzy. Our very unreliable adviser was suffering from a bad case Procrastinator's syndrome. nothing at all was done. Dear Manong and I decided to take the matters into our own hands. We set up meetings, established working committees, designed logos, built linkages. Each minute was golden.

In the other side of things, the nurse in me was experiencing a different kind of frenzy. My unruly thick black mane refused to be tamed. It was my first day on the job and I did not want to disappoint. I was in a hurry, I had to be at the hospital at 7.45. It was now 7.30 and my hair was sticking out in ll directions. My saving grace finally came in the form of my brother's tub of hair wax. It was a men's hair product, aptly named 'Master'. And it was surprisingly good for a cheap hair product. My thick strands were held firmly in place without the slick wet look. I was pleasantly surprised to be assigned to the Hemodialysis Unit. While the rest worked in pairs, I was left to fend off by myself.

I enjoyed working in the HDU. The staff nurses were very supportive and accommodating. I was not given a moment to feel out of place. The machines looked very complex, I was afraid to even go near it, so I did the next best thing. I asked a load of questions. And my questions were sufficiently responded to. I easily became familiar with the routine and dynamics in the unit. My shift ended at four.

I fell instantly asleep after dinner, my day was busy and exhausting. I stayed up late at night to watch MJ's memorial at the Staples Center. It felt strange, I missed him like a brother. The past few weeks since his death were a little difficult for me. I couldn't imagine a world without him. I've always been a big fan. I remember being three years old, scrawny, wide eyed and awestruck. My mum was a big fan of his and we had this old betamax tape of his music video that I loved to bits. I'd watch it all the time. I forgot the title of the song but I still distinctly remember being fascinated by the animation and the graphic work. He was riding this amusement park type ride and all these weird things surrounded him. I remember the mouth shaped tunnel. It was tongue in cheek and I lapped it up. I remember attempting to moonwalk and failing miserably. When he came to the country for a sold out concert, I went ballistic. I couldn't believe he was in my country. I grew up knowing there was no better entertainer than Michael Jackson. And now at twenty one, I realize how true that is. I stayed up until 4 am to watch his memorial. I was an utter mess, just sobbing my heart out in the middle of the night.

I went to work the following day looking harassed. So sorry have not been posting much, currently very busy. I will try to post more often this week. I suddenly miss the ex. Wonder why this feeling is suddenly dawning on me. Didn't shed a single tear when we parted ways. Now I miss him, his stubble, his scent, his skin, his eyes, his hands. Is this some sort of delayed reaction? has my sleep deprived brain gone haywire? Now I am missing him, and I'm horny. But will definitely not go there, sex always complicates things. He was a good boyfriend, and I want it to be the last thing I remember from our relationship, sex will drive us both mad. Will leave everything in its proper place. Me and my space, he and his hibernation. Maybe it isn't him I miss but the sex? Was that stupid facebook quiz right, after all? Have I become the female equivalent of Barney Stinson? All this time I thought I was a Carrie and at times, a Charlotte. Am I secretly and truly a Samantha?

Have I been delluding myself into thinking I want a good relationship, not hook-ups, not flings, but a great happy secure relationship with a nice sensible man. Dear God, Am I in it for the fuck? Have I inherited my father's horndogness? *shudders*

Too tired to ponder. Maybe will reconsider while bathing tomorrow. I always think clearly when I am at the bath. Meanwhile, is it wrong to fantasize about a priest? Am I committing some mortal sin I am not aware of? Will I be eternally damned?

The priest is the president of my univ and he is wickedly gorgeous, clever and articulate. I caught him stealing a few glances last night during practice. Felt strangely tingly. Must avoid, will definitely be eternally damned.

Tomorrow I'll be on duty at the intensive care unit, dear God please do not let any of my would-be patients die on me.

The Little Move

2009-06-30T23:38:00.000-07:00

Bob Fosse (An American musical theater choreographer/film director who won an unprecedented eight Tony awards for choreography and direction) as the Snake in The Little Prince (1974). An adaptation of Antoine de Saint Exupery's The Little Prince. MJ's inspiration for his very famous move the moonwalk, as well as his trademark white socks on black leather shoes.

Forgive me Father for I am about to sin

2009-06-27T22:34:00.001-07:00

I'll be sure to bring an apple to mass.

Photos By

Piero Pazzi

The Murder at Swan Lake

2009-06-26T22:56:00.000-07:00

Was just a dream.

Photos By

Jeff Bark

Gone too soon

2009-06-26T10:19:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson will be remembered, most likely, as a shattered icon, a pop genius who wound up a mutant of fame. That's not who I will remember, however. His mixture of mystery, isolation, indulgence, overwhelming global fame, and personal loneliness was intimately known to me. For twenty years I observed every aspect, and as easy as it was to love Michael -- and to want to protect him -- his sudden death yesterday seemed almost fated. Two days previously he had called me in an upbeat, excited mood. The voice message said, "I've got some really good news to share with you." He was writing a song about the environment, and he wanted me to help informally with the lyrics, as we had done several times before. When I tried to return his call, however, the number was disconnected. (Terminally spooked by his treatment in the press, he changed his phone number often.) So I never got to talk to him, and the music demo he sent me lies on my bedside table as a poignant symbol of an unfinished life. When we first met, around 1988, I was struck by the combination of charisma and woundedness that surrounded Michael. He would be swarmed by crowds at an airport, perform an exhausting show for three hours, and then sit backstage afterward, as we did one night in Bucharest, drinking bottled water, glancing over some Sufi poetry as I walked into the room, and wanting to meditate. That person, whom I considered (at the risk of ridicule) very pure, still survived -- he was reading the poems of Rabindranath Tagore when we talked the last time, two weeks ago. Michael exemplified the paradox of many famous performers, being essentially shy, an introvert who would come to my house and spend most of the evening sitting by himself in a corner with his small children. I never saw less than a loving father when they were together (and wonder now, as anyone close to him would, what will happen to them in the aftermath). Michael's reluctance to grow up was another part of the paradox. My children adored him, and in return he responded in a childlike way. He declared often, as former child stars do, that he was robbed of his childhood. Considering the monstrously exaggerated value our society places on celebrity, which was showered on Michael without stint, the public was callous to his very real personal pain. It became another tawdry piece of the tabloid Jacko, pictured as a weird changeling and as something far more sinister. It's not my place to comment on the troubles Michael fell heir to from the past and then amplified by his misguided choices in life. He was surrounded by enablers, including a shameful plethora of M.D.s in Los Angeles and elsewhere who supplied him with prescription drugs. As many times as he would candidly confess that he had a problem, the conversation always ended with a deflection and denial. As I write this paragraph, the reports of drug abuse are spreading across the cable news channels. The instant I heard of his death this afternoon, I had a sinking feeling that prescription drugs would play a key part. The closest we ever became, perhaps, was when Michael needed a book to sell primarily as a concert souvenir. It would contain pictures for his fans but there would also be a text consisting of short fables. I sat with him for hours while he dreamily wove Aesop-like tales about animals, mixed with words about music and his love of all things musical. This project became "Dancing the Dream" after I pulled the text together for him, acting strictly as a friend. It was this time together that convinced me of the modus vivendi Michael had devised for himself: to counter the tidal wave of stress that accompanies mega-stardom, he built a private retreat in a fantasy world where pink clouds veiled inner anguish and Peter Pan was a hero, not a pathology. This compromise with reality gradually became unsustainable. He went to strange lengths to preserve it. Unbounded privilege became another toxic force in his undoing. What began as idiosyncrasy, shyness, and vulnerability was ravaged by obsessions over health, paranoia over security, and an isolation that grew more and more unhealthy. When Michael passed me the music for that last song, the one sitting by my bedside waiting for the right words, the procedure for getting the CD to me rivaled a CIA covert operation in its secrecy. My memory of Michael Jackson will be as complex and confused as anyone's. His closest friends will close ranks and try to do everything in their power to insure that the good lives after him. Will we be successful in rescuing him after so many years of media distortion? No one can say. I only wanted to put some details on the record in his behalf. My son Gotham traveled with Michael as a roadie on his "Dangerous" tour when he was thirteen. Will it matter that Michael behaved with discipline and impeccable manners around my son? (It sends a shiver to recall something he told Gotham: "I don't want to go out like Marlon Brando. I want to go out like Elvis." Both icons were obsessions of this icon.) His children's nanny and surrogate mother, Grace Rwamba, is like another daughter to me. I introduced her to Michael when she was eighteen, a beautiful, heartwarming girl from Rwanda who is now grown up. She kept an eye on him for me and would call me whenever he was down or running too close to the edge. How heartbreaking for Grace that no one's protective instincts and genuine love could avert this tragic day. An hour ago she was sobbing on the telephone from London. As a result, I couldn't help but write this brief remembrance in sadness. But when the shock subsides and a thousand public voices recount Michael's brilliant, joyous, embattled, enigmatic, bizarre trajectory, I hope the word "joyous" is the one that will rise from the ashes and shine as he once did.

-Dr. Deepak Chopra

A Tribute to Michael Jackson

Your tennis is too hot

2009-06-26T06:21:00.001-07:00

Marat Safin

I'll gladly let you play on my court.

And you will not be penalized for grunting, swearing and uhmm... moaning.

A Walk in the Clouds

2009-06-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Michael Jackson1958-2009

Stuffing

2009-06-25T22:33:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well, look what we have here.

Unchained Melody

2009-06-25T01:19:00.000-07:00

Sexiest PETA nudie ever to hit the billboards. Sorry Khloe.

You may be curvy and sexay, but this dude's got nice pelvic bones.

Heaving Bossoms

2009-06-24T23:22:00.000-07:00

"I will take you, I will bring you to unbelievable heights of ecstasy, on one condition.

Tell me, Swear to me my love, that I am sexier than that despicable Jack Sparrow."

"Oh my darling. I am in the middle of a bromance. I'm afraid I cannot bed you tonight."

I may be no Gerard Butler, but my loins are on fire for you Cara.

"Haven't you heard Belinda? I am gay, oh yes I am!

We can never be together for I am madly in love with your brother!"

Meanwhile, where is Fabio?

Shoelust

2009-06-23T21:20:00.000-07:00

Hello Lover.

Stills

2009-06-23T09:26:00.001-07:00

1. What is your name?

2. What is your favorite food?

3. What is your hometown?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. What is your favorite movie?

6. What is your favorite drink?

7. What is your dream vacation?

8. What is your favorite dessert?

9. What is one word to describe yourself?

10. How are you feeling right now?

11. What do you love most in the world?

12. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Wonderful

2009-06-22T22:04:00.000-07:00

Johnny Depp as the Madhatter

Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen of Hearts

Anne Hathaway as the White Queen

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland will open on March 2010. Mia Wasikowska will be playing Alice. I've always been a huge fan of Tim Burton since I first saw Edward Scissorhands. Photos from the set are available on the net and the whole production looks absolutely stunning. I for one, cannot wait to see the movie.

Multiplied by the Power of Tweet

2009-06-21T22:36:00.000-07:00

Just D'oh It!

2009-06-19T23:57:00.000-07:00

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

I'm having the best day of my life and I owe it all to not going to church!

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard and I love my kids,

so why should I spend half my sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell?

I've always wondered if there was a god--now I know there is--and it's me.

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion?

Each week we just make God madder and madder.

Hey Flanders, it's no use praying.

I already did the same thing,

and we can't both win.

The lesson is : Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one,

show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!

A big mountain of sugar is too much for one man.

I can see now why God portions it out in those little packets.

If god didn't want me to eat in church, he would've made gluttony a sin.

Jesus, Alla, Buddha ... I love you all!

God is teasing me! Just like he teased Moses in the desert!

I felt a surge of power, like god must feel, when he's holding a gun.

Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.

Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.

want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss!

Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Trying is the first step to failure.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

If at first you don't succeed, give up.

Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV.

[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

I am 26 hours late for work.

No time for Maggie.

Kids are great, Appu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically raise themselves now-a-days,

you know, with the internet and all.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child,

but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Son, this is the only time I'm gonna say this. It is not okay to lose.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be baking?

Lisa, two wrongs DO make a right!

I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my Dad at most things,

and Bart experienced that at the age of four.

Ahhh...sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?

Marge, don't discourage the boy!

Weaseling out of things is important to learn.

It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

The strong must protect the sweet.

Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leah and as smart as Yoda.

Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college.

The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do. What else...

I will live to be 42. Oh, only 42 ?!? I won't even live to see my children die.

No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike.

They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

All my life I've been an obese man trapped inside a fat man's body.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned.

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!

Rock stars... Is there anything they don't know?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Son, when you participate in sporting events,

it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

They took the foam off the market because they found out it was poisonous,

but if you ask me, if you're dumb enough to eat it, you deserve to die.

I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills.

Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth,

he gets to break yours.

Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

Kids, if he (Grandpa) starts acting weird, lead him down into the basement.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter?

Besides, every time I learn something new,

it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.

Remember when I took that home winemaking course,

and I forgot how to drive?

No matter how good you are at something,

there's always about a million people better than you.

[Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You-are-gay.'

'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you

let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Oh well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.

Relax, what is mind? No matter. What is matter? Nevermind.

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.

I'm in a place where I don't know where I am.

There's a New Mexico?!?

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth.

Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England.

Shut up, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

All right, let's not panic.

I'll make the money by selling one of my livers.

I can get by with one.

I hope I didn't brain my damage.

Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!

Spring/Summer Must Have: Fugly friends

2009-06-19T23:11:00.000-07:00

Israeli ad agency McCann Digital launched the "Get An Ugly Girlfriend!" site in Hebrew and English along with a Hebrew-only facebook group to promote the fruit-flavored alcoholic beverages.

The site suggests that like Bacardi Breezers, ugly friends come in several different varieties and women can use them to appear more attractive in social situations.

How terrible are these ads? Pure bad taste. Usually liquor ads are drenched in misogyny but this is just ridiculous. What made these people think putting unattractive women alongside vile descriptions in their ads will draw hordes of women to their beverage? Wow, these ads just scream desperate. I cannot imagine how these models could muster the courage to pose for the camera on an ad that fondly describes them, She's "97 kilograms of femininity, strength, and double chins." There's also Lucy, who's "rubbing thighs...and drooping breasts will turn any trip to the mall into an unforgettable experience." Stupid ad.

They market it like it's the newest beauty essential. The "Ultimate" concealer, if you must. Want to look prettier? get an ugly girl friend! Not. Fucking. Funny.

Want to distract them from your cottage cheese stuffed thighs? Bring Sally!

Want to cover up those those dark under eye circles? Bring Lucy!

Get an ugly girl friend!

My Father The Rockstar

2009-06-19T20:39:00.001-07:00

I have his...

chin

temperament

sick and twisted humor

appetite

forehead

fashion sense

love for jazz music

capriciousness

Dear Papa,

Thank you for not choking me to death when I say vile things to you.

Thank you for not snooping around my facebook account. I know this has taken an enormous amount of restraint, and for that I am grateful.

Thank you for not running over my ex boyfriend, again I know this is a tremendous feat on your part, and again I am truly grateful.

Thank you for sharing your wicked fashion sense and fascination with macintosh products with me.

Thank you for allowing me to shop online without nagging me about air 21.

Thank you for being my personal tech consultant.

Thank you for helping me make an iChat account.

Thank you for grimacing in silence whenever I put on make-up.

Thank you for bringing me pails of water when I am washing dishes and the water district has fucked up our water supply.

Thank you for checking up on me when I am sick and having the consideration not to have a fit for being on your bed all day.

Thank you for carrying the loads of packages when we shop.

Thank you for being our personal chauffeur.

Thank you for not puking on the way up during one of your drinking sessions with your friends.

Thank you for introducing me to house music.

Thank you for sharing my anxiety during the NLE.

Thank you for telling all your friends about my supposed square off gig and not freaking out when it didn't come through.

Thank you for sharing my amusement with TMZ.

Thank you for being a kewl dad, despite the arguments we've had in the past, I am still alive, with my airway intact and my brain tissue injury free. I love you.

Love,

Issey

The quietness of his tone italicized the malice of his reply

2009-06-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

To me, the greatest pleasure of writing

is not what it's about,

but the inner music that words make.

Truman Capote

Take The Oath

2009-06-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitely small, is not exactly zero.

If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.

I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.

Thou shall not bite the hand that feeds you

2009-06-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

...or bakes you cake.

My mum learned this the hard way this morning as she arranged plans for a father's day banquet for my dad and my grandpa. My dad loves ate Inday's moist chocolate cake and asked my mum to order one for this sunday's banquet. She held the phone in her hand and just as she was about to make the call it dawned on her. The last time she talked to ate Inday, they were hurling expletives at each other via my mum's trusty PDA phone. The argument was about a cake that was not delivered on the agreed time. My mum's most beloved sister-in-law (insert sarcasm here) had come to visit and demanded (very sweetly, of course) that her moist cassava cake be warm and fresh and at the door by nine in the morning. And as most tragedies begin, this arrangement was not honored by the baker.

Now my mum has to make that infernal call. She asks me what to do.

Mum: I have to call Inday.

Me: Yep.

Mum: I f I call her, she probably won't accept my order or if she will, she'll add a tablespoon of cyanide into the batter.

Me: Yep.

Mum: I have a brilliant idea, You call her and order the cake. Tell her to have it delivered at your lola's.

Me: or I could just call her and have her deliver the cake here.

Mum: But she would know it's me.

Me: No, she won't. I'll tell her you moved. I'll deny you. I'll pretend you never existed.

Mum: That might just work. Me move? Where?

Me: Iraq. I'll tell her you've decided to join the peace corps.

Mum: (laughs) she would like that.

You may say the best solution is to apologize to Inday or look for another baker. But you don't know my mum, she will never apologize even if her life depended on it, and once she sets out to go after something she wants, she usually gets it.

On a side note, I've decided to go back to school and pursue a masteral degree in nursing. Well, I need to do something with so much time on my hands. Might as well go back to school. I'm excited to begin my classes. It all feels so familiar. And yet, I dread the thought of waking up early in the weekends. There will be hell yet again, and this time I'll have myself to blame.

Meanwhile, isn't that blueberry cheesecake divine? It's screaming my name. I might have a piece later at True Brew's after I finish the whole enrollment procedure.

This Boy

2009-06-18T05:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Leloy,

You probably don't remember me but we met two years ago during the 16th Mindanao Parliamentary Debate Championship. You were the chief adjudicator and I was a debater. I can still remember the moment I met you, my team mates and I were having breakfast at Xavier's cafeteria and you were standing by my table sipping a cup of fresh warm coffee. You were wearing a grey KISS shirt and a pair of black converse chucks. Anyone would easily mistake you for a student, but I knew you who you were. The great Leloy of ADS. I ate my breakfast in silence, watching you beneath my lashes. Sometimes our eyes would meet across the table and I'd look away in embarrassment which for some strange reason would make you smile and stare more intently. This pendulum of awkward staring and looking away continued for a few more minutes. Then I looked up and you had walked away. The first round went my smoothly. Me and my partner managed to grab the highest scores. I was a bundle of electric nerves. I knew what this meant. On the second round, we would be matched with other top ranking teams. And we were. The motion was about Basketball. We were doomed. A ray of hope struggled to surface among the heavy gloom. Then you walked in, with that Bruce Wayne swagger of yours and you sat across us motioning for the match to start. I was the prime minister. I had to muster every centimeter of strength to look at you straight without warm blood flushing my cheeks. I looked at my paper blots of sweat stained it's edges, my hands were coldly perspiring. What transpires next would be the most difficult seven minutes of my entire life. I had to talk about basketball and imported players. Who the fuck cares about these trivial things? I surely don't and my team mate could not, for the life of him, provide anything remotely intelligent in our case. You stared at me blankly as I struggled to string coherent words together. It wasn't the same. That twinkle in your eye was lost. I might as well be a piece of wooden furniture. My seven minute hell was up and I slumped back in my chair certain of defeat.

You said my arguments were very strong and profound. I appreciated your effort to be polite, everything I had said was utter gibberish. But my arguments did not fit the spirit of the motion. Ah, now there's the catch. You ranked us on the bottom of the top four teams. Defeat really doesn't matter at all anymore when it is expected. The tournament passed by in a haze with my head in the clouds. Every picture had your face, every person had your eyes, you were everywhere. I was engulfed in the violent delight of catching your gaze. Then sunday came and swiftly took you away. I was on my way home and all I could think of was you, that arrogant smirk, those beautiful eyes, that goofy smile.

It's been two years and here you are again lingering in my mind. You have become this insatiable impossible dream. I love you like there's no tomorrow. It's irrational, it's mundane, it's as trivial as debating about basketball and imported players. But I cannot help myself, you are this boy I lost and never really had in the first place. She has you and she's perfect so like some cosmic predetermination, you belong together. She's cute and clever and skinny and never seems to sweat. You will make incredibly smart globally renowned debater children. I'm sure she's amazing but I love you. I love you, no questions asked. Every bit of you and all of you. No more no less, everything you have and everything you are. I will love you even when you have lost all your hair, the sharpness of your mind, the dexterity of your metacarpals and the fading of your eyesight. I will love you through it all. So pick me, choose me, love me. Look my way again and this time, stay by my table long enough for me to say something incredibly stupid.

I'm just this girl pining for an impossibly perfect boy. I like to think I'm clever sometimes, I have sweat glands and our children will probably do moderately well in school but if they take after you, they're lucky. I still wish you were mine. I'm sure she's great but I will blow your mind in a million ways. I'll listen to you when you're complaining about the state of our political and economic affairs, I'll make you some chicken soup and warm lemon tea whenever you are feverish and your nasal passages become clogged, I'll be nice to your mum even when she's making snide remarks about the state of our household, I'll respect your bro code of honor and keep your friends' secrets, I'll rub my feet against yours when your toes become cold, I'll study the recipes of your favorite dishes by heart, I'll be your biggest groupie, and I'll always be pretty for you. We'll stay in bed on a rainy day and listen to Beatles songs, we'll get through a bad day together with our wits intact, and we'll enjoy everything that life has to offer, even when we are old and gray. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And maybe, just maybe, we'll meet again, if I'm lucky.

My friends tell me (who worship you, by the way) that you are currently in Australia finishing your doctorate degree. I love you and I wish you all the best.

Love,

Issey

Bumping Bruno

2009-06-17T00:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, Isla Fisher is doing that.

The Usual and Unusual Suspects

2009-06-16T04:19:00.001-07:00

Leading Lady

I love love love Claire Danes' look at the CFDA Fashion Awards! The dress is perfect for her slender frame. The fit is impeccable, hugging her curves and showing a modest hint of skin. This is how a cut out dress is properly done. It's a wonderful dress, I love its old hollywood vintagey feel. I am absolutely in love with this dress. Claire Danes is glowing. The hair, the make up, the minimalist accessories, everything is lovely. I don't know who the dress is by. But I will definitely keep you posted.

Okay, I just found out from Style.com, the dress is by Narciso Rodriguez and the clutch is by Tod's.

All Rocked Out

Miss Agyness Deyn is rocking the pale metallic dress. I love how she pairs it up with the leather jacket and the black leather boots. It toned down the fairy like feel of the ultra feminine dress. Rock chic.

Greek Sleek

Anja Rubik is svelte in her Kaufman Franco dress. I like how the immaculate white of the dress contrasts with her golden tan. So elegant.

Funny girl

Mamie Gummer is lovely in her Peter Som dress. Photographed here with the designer. The outfit is well put together, although I would get rid of the jacket. She already has a lot going on with the chunky bangles. The make up and the slightly disheveled hair is so pretty on her.

Hot Mama!

Heidi is sexy and sultry in this grey steel metallic dress by Michael Kors.

Urbanista Chic

Eugenia Gonzalez in Juan Carlos Ubando. I like this grungey chic look. The strappy sandals are gorgeous. On the whole, she looks effortless. I like the sexy wild hair. But I would prefer this look on a night out in the town or a date with that cute british boy. Aaaah, those british boys sure are lovely.

Enchanted

Kerry Washington in Doo.Ri. Kerry is beautiful in this enchanting metallic dress. The steel hue of the glittery dress looks great in contrast to her olive skin. The romantic hair complements the look. Steel grey metal is such a dominant color in this year's CFDA Awards.

Red Hot Love

Behati Prinsloo in a Yigal Azrouel assymetric dress. I love this look, The asymetrical cut and one sided puff sleeve adds just the right amount of quirk. I love the pop red color.

A Day in The Life

2009-06-16T04:04:00.000-07:00

Roz Chast

Birds and The Roz

2009-06-16T03:57:00.000-07:00

I putter.

I nurse old grudges.

I fold origami while nursing old grudges.

I think about the past.

I wonder if there's any grudges I should start.

-Roz Chast

Independen'sya

2009-06-15T08:23:00.000-07:00

In the midst of all the con ass whipping, we celebrated the 111th Philippine Independence Day. Filipinos brushed aside merry making and went to the streets for yet another big ass rally. The usual suspects were there, Mar Roxas with his shiny tricycles and garlic garlands (someone should really beat the crap out of his PR team), the presidentiables flashing their newly bleached pearly whites, hordes of sweaty activists, effigies of Gloria's indomitable mole (her mole really plays such a prominent role in these rallies, it needs its very own PR team) and those infernal chismosos and chismosas. Filipinos have a strong penchant for drama, it even figures in our almost bi-annual rallies. On one side we have the kontrabida, the thorny pebble in Juan's shoe. The one person we are irrefutably convinced is responsible for all our nation's maladies. In this scenario the kontrabida is not donning a leather jacket, he or rather, she is the prick straddling the country's highest seat. But this was not always the case. Once upon a time the kontrabida was the bida. The knight in immaculate white propped up on a unicorn (unicorns are magical creatures reserved only for the elite few). But alas, the bida entranced by the golden promises of minty swiss bank accounts, happy and sated mistresses, and sprawling vacation villas, takes a bite of the forbidden fruit. Insatiable, the bida nibbles on the sweet succulent flesh, the juices drip to the ground. The plight of the impoverished, the sick and the suffering remain unheard while the bida hums to the tune of glittering power while she stomps among the crispy peso bills lining the carpets of the presidential palace. Under the watchful eye of the very people who have brought her to power, The bida then morphs into the kontrabida. The time is up, her inner thighs are burning hot, her buttocks badly bruised. The people are getting sick of the ride.

On the other side, we have the bida. The Zorro, the Shia Lebouf, the hero of the long suffering masses. He/she is the personification of saving grace. The people pin all their hopes on the bida. It feels very familiar, Like those generic scenes we see on those generic romantic comedies where the girl is gazing up at the dorky loser she once loathed to hell and back. She thinks to herself, He might, he just might be the One (insert Sara Geronimo's A very special love).

Sometimes the bida and the kontrabida switch places. Not too long ago, Gloria was the bida. Filipinos marched to EDSA demanding the resignation of then president Erap Estrada. Gloria was vice president. The little woman was a vision of hope. Educated in Goergetown University where she shared classes with Bill Clinton, she was a breath of fresh air to Erap's highschool drop out. Years later, Erap is convicted of graft and corruption. He is sent to prison where he subsequently receives a pardon. The time is ripe. The people are beginning to lose patience in Gloria. Controversies are abound. Whistleblowers drop bombs on a monthly basis. She and her mole apologize nasally on TV. Erap strengthens his fan base. The masses seem to have forgotten how he stole much needed funds from the nation. The people who support him might be suffering from short term memory loss, like the one Drew had in 5o first dates. He is groomed once again to be the bida. His image is that of the prodigal son. The people welcome him with arms wide open like a dearly missed exiled hero. He drunkenly slurs his devotion to the welfare of the mahihirap and the media laps it up. The presidential elections are drawing near where Erap is slated to run for office once again. Gloria is doing her best to Con ass whip the country. Under the present constitution, she is no longer qualified to run for the highest office as this is her second term as president. Hey, if the system doesn't work for you, then change the system. She pimps out her mole in her hometown, flashing her pearly whites. "Who knows? I might run for congresswoman next year?", she quips. God forbid.

Yes, this only happens in the Philippines.

Next year I will be voting for the very first time. I am making a mental note to wear a wristband and a fake mole in case I will be infected with the prevalent short term memory loss.

Post Script: I like the google doodle made for the celebration of our country's independence day. Read all about it's conception here.

Gap Toothed Beauty

2009-06-14T05:10:00.001-07:00

We have to be able to grow up.

Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life.

They are what we have been through

and who we want to be.

-Lauren Hutton

Disturbia

2009-06-14T00:55:00.000-07:00

I recently stumbled upon a list of the top ten most disturbing films in cinematic history. Concurrent with the bile in my mouth came the realization that we have a criteria for distinguishing which circumstance makes violence acceptable for the regular viewer. Violence can only be acceptable for us if it is happening to another person. In this case, it is that girl who is running around screaming her head off in a flimsy negligee that leaves very little to the imagination. Second criterion is that if the violence in the film warrants a certain degree of knowledge. You walk out of the cinema with a lump in your throat after having been fully immersed in the horrors of the human experiments carried out in a Nazi concentration camp. This is why horrific films make it to the Academy Awards, because you have become a tad wiser, a tad less ignorant and therefore a tad more cultured.

My fellowmen decided to showcase several films shown during the 62nd Cannes Film Festival for the celebration of our country's Independence Day. Notably absent from the glittering roster of films shown is our very own "Kinatay" from award winning director Brillante Mendoza. Quite the irony since the film fared extremely well in Cannes catapulting it's director to the Best Director Award. Truly, a majestic feat for the filipinos. Mendoza has stated he will only allow "Kinatay" to be premiered in the country in the condition that the film will be shown in all its uncensored glory. Alas, the director's entry to last year's Cannes Film Festival "Serbis" will be shown in lieu of "Kinatay".

Kinatay has failed to fit into any of the criteria for the acceptable unpalatable cinematic experience. As Tarantino has said, the film doesn't dramatize the crime. You watch the film not as a spectator, not as viewer waiting for the shock factor to kick in. In the film you are a witness, you are a participant in the poor woman's killing and subsequent mutilation. The poor woman is not the bossomy girl running for her life, the woman is a prostitute who has been sentenced to death by a drug pushing gang, the woman looks so typical you might have bumped into her on your way to work. In this case, hell is no longer another person's, it is your own. You leave the theater with the remnants of bile on your tongue. This movie did not make you a tad wiser and therefore a tad more cultured. This movie made you feel dirty, as if the hacked woman's entrails are stuck on the soles of your shoes and you cannot wash them off.

I scanned the list with much trepidation. It is eleven thirty in the evening and I am alone on my cluttered bed. The night is eerily silent and my thoughts are in a frenzied chaos. There is an accompanying video clip of every movie featured in the article. I find myself drawn to number six. The movie is called "Cutting Moments". It is a movie about a suburban wife who is desperate to win back the affections of her icy spouse. What do we have here? A demented woman stuck in a love triangle with her perverted husband who has begun to feel sexually attracted to their son. I click on the play button. Two minutes later the woman emerges from the bathroom in her skivvies, soaked in blood. She stands in front of her husband as he blankly stares at the TV. He looks at her puzzled, his brow furrowed in animosity. There she is dripping thick blood, her lips conspicuously missing from her face. I peer from my palm clasped firmly over my eyes. This is sick. Twisted. My stomach is tied in knots. Bile is rising in my throat. My hands are itchy. I feel dirty.

From Quentin with Love

2009-06-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

Quentin Tarantino's note to Cannes Best Director Award winner Brillante Mendoza. The stationery is all upside down, it's cute and I like it just the way it is, with the wrong spelling and the crooked handwriting and all. This note's got character. This note is kick ass. Warms my stone cold heart.

Evil Prophylaxis

2009-06-13T05:04:00.000-07:00

"Such tragedy could have been easily avoided"

"Wptt Contraceptive (a brand name) hopes to create a new packaging of novelty and visual impact. The objective is to emphasize the high contraceptive effectiveness of the products by indicating the painful consequences of having sex without a condom. More than 100,000 people have used the condoms and the sales increased by 21%."

Wickedly funny and oddly disturbing. Humor me, but I'd like to think not all procreation results in genocide and communist enthusiasts. Why is Bush up there? I may not agree with all his policies but I hardly think he's Hitler material. Why not put Josef Stalin or Idi Amin Dada or Pol Pot in there? Man, the foil packaging would truly kill the mood.

Because there is nothing sexier than seeing Saddam Hussein's face on your lover's condom packet just before he slips it in.

Desperate Times

2009-06-12T04:56:00.001-07:00

Call for desperate measures.

Photos by

Craig McDean

Let's Get Naughtical

2009-06-12T04:49:00.000-07:00

That big rope.

David Beckham for Autumn/Winter Armani

Champagne Supernova

2009-06-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

3.1 Phillip Lim Resort 2010 Collection

I absolutely adore this collection. I love how the ensembles manage to combine feminine flair with nautical neutrals. The colors remind me of downing pink champagne underneath the setting sun in a white beach house. This is a beautiful collection. Relaxed, Elegant and Blissful. I want to wear everything in it. "She's a pirate," says the designer, pointing out the patchwork denim, the antique lace, and the "sun-bleached" florals and lamés.

Marc Jacobs Resort 2010 Collection

Marc Jacobs has always been a personal favorite of mine. I love how he revitalizes vintage styles with fresh and bold colors, fabrics and treatment. This collection is another testament to is timeless and fluid aesthetic. Inspired by old hollywood, his ensembles remind me of summers in Tuscany and Madrid. Playful, whimsical and upbeat. I particularly love the bubble skirts, the high waisted satin shorts, the coral cropped pants and the tiered dresses.

Jason Wu Resort 2010 Collection

Jason Wu has been making the airwaves since Michelle Obama stepped out in is white gown to the inauguration ball. And a good thing also because this designer has something brilliant up his sleeve. This collection can be summed up in two words, Beautifully Practical. I'm currently in a grey phase. Grey is such a basic elegant color. I love how he combines the somberness of grey with healthy splashes of tangerine and mint green. Blazers have become a commodity in our closets as of late. The pretty dress or skirt/shirt underneath a structured blazer has been a favorite pairing of mine. His blazers are wonderfully tailored and will look beautiful worn in the city.

Stella McCartney Resort 2010 Collection

This collection was debuted in a soiree the designer hosted in absentia at her L.A. store in honor of World Environment Day. The collection is sexy and quirky in a mod sense. The black lace jumpsuit suit is done wonderfully with a large black bow in the midsection. The sporty side of the collection is shown in the romper, the structured drawstring-waist jackets and the striped dresses. Offbeat and fun. I could see a bit of Penny Lane in the collection. Proving that the designer practices what she preaches, 15 percent of the line is partially or 100 percent organic.

Alexander Wang Resort 2010 Collection

This collection exudes that elusive effortlessly cool vibe. Basic resort wear tweaked with city chic makes this collection very easy to transcend into other collections. Navy blue and neutrals are combined seamlessly for that laid back flair.

Derek Lam Resort 2010 Collection

Edgy urban basics with a beachy vibe. He dazzles jersey dresses, cropped pants and striped shirts with bold colors and prints. Perfect for clubbing and jetsetting, his collection is highly covetable for leisure loving yuppies and young stylistas.

Round is so 1995

2009-06-12T00:52:00.003-07:00

Square watermelons anyone?

Only in Japan

Miss Fortune

2009-06-11T06:13:00.000-07:00

The following are from a facebook application. This may have something good to say. Most of it is spot on.

This card as it reflects a deep thinker, someone who spends time in isolation mulling over the mysteries of life. Much time may have been spent this way, and now it is all about to change.

Full Meaning: This card shows an elderly gentleman with a robe and hood standing atop a mountain holding a lantern in his right hand and a staff in this left hand. It is the middle of the night and the background is dark, and offset by the glow - which looks like a star, emanating from the lantern. The mountain appears to be snow capped and the night seems cold and he is alone. This can signify an event happening at night or in winter. If you are not in a relationship at this point in time, it is likely that you soon will be as this can symbolize the end of being alone, you finally find what you have been looking for, which may have been right under your nose. Prepare yourself in whatever way is necessary. Maybe you need to revamp your image or put on some brighter clothes, rather than hiding yourself under a huge coat or cloak.

Rabbits are friendly, outgoing and prefer the company of others. They also prefer to avoid conflict. In confrontational situations, Rabbits approach calmly and with consideration for the other party. Rabbits believe strongly in friends and family and lacking such bonds can lead to emotional issues. Their serene nature keeps Rabbits from becoming visibly upset. Because they’re serene animals, Rabbits are easily taken advantage of. Their sensitive nature makes them shy away from aggressive or competitive situations. They’re overall conservative and not interested in taking risks. Classy, sophisticated, expressive, well-mannered and stylish, those born under the Sign of the Rabbit enjoy leaning about cultural issues and learning about people from other countries. Rabbits are most comfortable being home, and their homes are always neat and organized. Home is also where Rabbits prefer to entertain. Rabbits are conservative in their decorating tastes.

Rabbits should work at building more self-confidence and self-worth so they can feel more secure. The desire for remaining in safe, comfortable environments keeps Rabbits from taking risks which sometimes causes them to miss out on good opportunities.

Rabbits are very sexual, but tend to give more of themselves than they should. This can lead to unrealistic expectations and unhealthy situations. Rabbits need partners who won’t take advantage of their giving nature. Such pairings will be strong.

Rabbits are articulate and good communicators which is why friends and acquaintances seek out their advice. It’s also why Rabbits make excellent diplomats and politicians. Other good careers for Rabbits include: writer, publisher, actor, fashion designer, therapist, doctor, administrator, public relations, and teacher.

The Rabbit is most compatible with the Pig and Dog and incompatible with the Rooster and Rat.

You have difficulty making decisions when it comes to personal matters. You like to weigh all the alternatives and hear every side of an argument - but this may take time and opportunities may pass you by because of it. You also like to expend energy on people who may not deserve it - You want to help the underdog. You are also sensitive to criticism and may take mild statements of fact very personally. Advice: Follow your instincts and act on them. Don't blindly trust people, learn to be a little more discriminating in your offers of help. Learn to think for yourself and don't be swayed by persuasive tongues.

Those born in October:

Loves to chat

Loves those who loves him

Loves to takes things at the centre

Attractive and suave

Inner and physical beauty

Does not lie or pretend

Sympathetic

Treats friends importantly

Always making friends

Easily hur! t but recovers easily

Bad tempered

Selfish

Seldom helps unless asked

Daydreamer

Very opinionated

Does not care of what others think

Emotional

Decisive

Strong clairvoyance

Loves to travel, the arts and literature

Soft-spoken, loving and caring

Romantic

Touchy and easily jealous

Spendthrift and easily influenced

Easily loses confidence

Love

2009-06-10T07:38:00.001-07:00

Conquers all except poverty and toothache.

OYSTER

June July 2009

The Vampire and The Nun

Baldovino Barani

Veruca's List: On/Off Mug

2009-06-09T09:13:00.000-07:00

Created with heat sensitive pigments, this mug becomes white and the word "on" appears on its surface when a hot beverage is poured in.

Purchase here.

Bony Prominence

2009-06-09T09:01:00.000-07:00

The year was 1480 and the fateful day July 28 when a fleet of 70 to 200 Ottoman ships reached the city of Otranto, then part of the Kingdom of Naples. It was the beginning of the Ottoman wars (1453-1683) in Europe and invader Mohammed II had conquered Constantinople just 28 years earlier. The garrison and the citizens took cover in the Castle of Otranto but as it had no cannons for defense, it was soon conquered and the garrison killed. On August 12, 800 citizens were taken to the hill of Minerva, now called the Hill of the Martyrs, and beheaded because they refused to renounce their Catholic faith. Their remains were taken to the cathedral and the skulls preserved in the altar piece as a prominent reminder of these 800 martyrs.

I feel like I'm shitting a knife!

2009-06-08T02:56:00.000-07:00

Baby Mama. Directed and written by Michael McCullers. Starring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Quality chick flick. Kate Holbrook is a successful business woman. Now thirty seven, she is determined to have a baby on her own. But her plan is thrown a curve ball after she discovers she has only a million-to-one chance of getting pregnant. Undaunted, the driven Kate allows South Philly working girl Angie Ostrowiski to become her unlikely surrogate. Simple enough ... After learning from the steely head of their surrogacy center that Angie is pregnant, Kate goes into precision nesting mode: reading childcare books, baby-proofing the apartment and researching top pre-schools. But the executive's well-organized strategy is turned upside down when her Baby Mama shows up at her doorstep with no place to live.

1. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have great comedic timing. Good supporting actors on this film.

2. Many funny lines. Here's one: Angie: "My avatar's dressed like a whore!"

3. Greg Kinnear is specially hot here.

4. Predictable ending but cute nonetheless.

5. My mum and dad watched this movie. Enjoyed it.

6. Dax Shephard nailed the part as a white trash whore. "I'm gonna bang all your friends! Consider them banged!"

7. Not genius material but worth a few good giggles.

The Spiderwick Chronicles. Directed by Mark Waters and written by Kary Kirkpatrick and David Berenbaum. Starring Freddie Highmore and Seth Rogen. Ninety minutes too short fantasy and adventure. Upon moving into the run-down Spiderwick Estate with their mother, twin brothers Jared and Simon Grace, along with their sister Mallory, find themselves pulled into an alternate world full of faeries and other creatures. Unable to explain the strange disappearances and accidents that seem to be happening on a daily basis, the family blames it all on Jared. When he, Simon and Mallory investigate what's really going on, they uncover the fantastic truth of the Spiderwick estate and of the creatures that inhabit it.

1. I feel there is something lacking in the movie. Maybe with a bigger budget and a longer screen time, this will be much more enjoyable.

2. Loved Hogsqueal. He is quite the scene stealer.

3. The sister is annoying. I wanted to feed her to the goblins.

4. Dad might be an ogre. Stab to make sure.

5. Goblins say shit. No, seriously. It's their favorite curse word.

6. The boy who cried wolf is now crying goblin.

7. Note to self: When you find a book with a note on the cover that says do not read, DO NOT FRIGGIN' READ IT!

Is that a bone on your pelvis or are you just happy to see me?

2009-06-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

Hello there.

Anthony Bourdain

Incubi

2009-06-04T23:08:00.000-07:00

Drag me to hell.

Brandon Boyd.

Wipe After Reading

2009-06-02T00:23:00.001-07:00

If it scares the crap out of you, print it on toilet paper.

I shit you not.

TOKYO (AP) - In a country where ghosts are traditionally believed to hide in the loo, a Japanese company is advertising a new literary experience — a horror story printed on toilet paper.

Each roll carries several copies of a new nine-chapter novella written by Koji Suzuki, the Japanese author of the horror story "Ring," which has been made into movies in both Japan and Hollywood.

Read the entire article here.

This will make my toilet encounters entirely convenient.

License to Lick

2009-06-01T22:28:00.001-07:00

Is that Daniel Craig's head you're licking?

The product is a result of Del Monte’s UK Coolest Guy contest. Daniel beat out Tom Jones, Hugh Grant and Jude Law to win the prize of being immortalized in frozen fruit. Daniel comes in blueberry, cranberry and pomegranate.

Oh Johnny

2009-06-01T22:14:00.001-07:00

My midnight lover johnny Depp is featured in July's issue of Vanity Fair. This is a good strategic move if you want people to buy Conde Nast magazines. Another good strategic move? sending out press releases and saving the entire interview for the article. So if you want to know more about johnny's island (oh yes), hollywood faves and his stress-busting pastime, does it involve nudity and lots of licking? Find out in July's issue of Vanity Fair.

Oh Johnny, you can have my island anytime you want dahling, now go put on that eye patch and show me your pork sword.

Post Script: Your pastime may include nudity and lots of licking too, just don't do it with your computer screen. It'll burn. I read that.... somewhere.

To The Bat Mobile!

2009-06-01T01:39:00.000-07:00

Will it even run on gas? or Chanel No. 5 Parfum?

Papa Karl I want mine in black please.

Snogging Pandas

2009-05-31T08:49:00.001-07:00

Cuteness!

Veruca's List: Seductively Luscious Lashes

2009-05-31T06:07:00.000-07:00

LashFood Eyelash Conditioning Stimulant. Quite pricey for a teensy weensy bit of a tube at $115. But for a gal with short sparse lashes, this is pure magic in a tube.

"...is a scientifically blended liquid of natural ingredients that you apply like eyeliner, twice a day, at the root of your lashes. The good news is that it doesn't sting -- and itdoesn't melt or otherwise make a mess of your other eye makeup when it is applied over the LashFood.

The mixed news is that, like most products which assist in new growth, it's going to take some time to see the results -- but the terrific news is that you will see them!

My lashes became shinier after just a few weeks (I think they were darker too? but that could have been the shine fooling me...) And then, a few weeks later, I noticed my eyelashes were a bit darker and fuller looking too. And, yes, Virginia, this was before I put on the mascara.

Once mascara was applied, my lashes almost seemed too-long (if there is such a thing?) and certainly dangerous in a very sexy way...

So yes, LashFood works!

But wait! There's more! Super bonus points for LashFood because is also assists those of us with weak, sparse eyebrows too."

Read the entire review here.

I violently want this. I violently need $115 too.

To purchase one for me, click here.

Nakakalason Ang Panis Na Laway

2009-05-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

By Aissa Penafiel and Migs Ocampo

To vote, click here. Deadline is on June 15, 2009.

Houseboys

2009-05-30T02:57:00.001-07:00

Bubble wraps.

The Crinoline Girl

2009-05-30T01:46:00.001-07:00

My heart is simply melting at the thought of Julian Eltinge;

His alter ego, Vesta Tilley, too.

Since our language is so dexterous, let us call them ambi-sexterous-
Why hasn't this occurred before to you?

-Dorothy Parker

Women went into ecstasies over him. Men went into the smoking room.

-W.C Fields

Sparkling

2009-05-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

Japan's most celebrated contemporary author, Haruki Murakami, has yet to release his highly secretive new novel — known only by its title 1Q84, but it has already begun selling out — before it has even hit the shelves.

The book's first-pressing has already been bumped up to an initial print run of 480,000 copiesand the first few bookstores in Tokyo that began carrying it on Wednesday sold out within hours.

1Q84 is Murakami's first novel in over five years. His previous novel was the hugely popular Kafka on the Shore.

Miss Lodge

2009-05-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

And Archie chose Veronica.

Oh Betty Betty Betty, stop gawking at the window. Hit up a bar with Jughead in tow and get yourself stinking drunk so you can have a good excuse when you wake up the following day naked with Jugs in bed. Move on blondie. this dude has been using you as a doormat for sixty four years. Go to a prestigious ivy league university, hit on your hot professor, mull over existentialism while sharing weed with a few strangers, experiment on bisexuality with your roommates, crash some frat parties, ditch the bra, go through a snobby Nietzsche phase, make plaster replicas of your boyfriends' pork swords, go unbathed for a week, dye your hair pink. for the love of all that is holy, STOP BEING A FRIGGIN' DOORMAT!

Work your way up the corporate ladder. Sleep with a few executives if you must. Fight for what you want with tooth and nail. Be relentless. Never take no for an answer. Be brazen, be bold, paint the town red and leave them mystifed. Leave them breathless.

Twenty years from now Archie will have gained a pot belly and a shiny bald spot, Veronica will still have those long and shapely legs, a few nips and tucks here and there and a frisky nineteen year old pool boy on the side. This is when you return to Riverdale. Beautiful, elegant, wealthy and successful. Give them something to gawk at.

Edna's Notes: Sun Kissed

2009-05-27T10:38:00.001-07:00

Flutter. Forever 21 floral frill skirt, Costume National Handbag, Givenchy Cutout shoe boots, Forever 21 gold chain necklace with floral pendants, Forever 21 gold and white loop earrings

Flirt. Alice+Olivia tank dress, Report Signature Masonic 2 platform sandals, Forever 21 pearl cuff, Forever 21 gold chain with dove pendant

Cocktails. Anna Sui Rainbow Fields embellished dress, Bijoux Heart Vintage Whiplash ring, Marc Jacobs red oversized sunnies, Miu Miu banana bow grey flats, Marc by Marc Jacobs flap patent clutch

Stroll. Marc by Marc Jacobs Elan denim pants, Bottega Veneta basket bag, Rebecca Taylor cashmere sequin tank top, Marc Jacobs metallic lace up brogues, Forever 21 gold chain necklace with charm pendants

Laze. TIBI silk halter top, Chloe high waisted cotton shorts, Ringseclectic stone embellished ring, Prada butterfly frame sunnies, Miu Miu metallic gladiator sandals, Matthew Williamson brocade embroidered clutch

Lounge. Chloe Saskia oversized round sunnies, Forever 21 gold bangle set, Forever 21 gold owl pendant necklace, Forever 21 white snap cardigan dress, Pedro Garcia Topaz platform, Alexander McQueen Elvie patent leather tote

Cannes'd Heat

2009-05-27T01:41:00.000-07:00

Piolo Pascual looks good in the tan colored suit but I think his bottoms fit too snugly. Not a polished look.

Mercedes Cabral's shoes are dainty.

Mercedes Cabral was labeled the Most Beautiful Asian in Cannes last year.

Our ambassadors at the red carpet. Oh my, how blah.

We have so many talented Pinoy fashion designers in the country, the Cannes film festival is the perfect opportunity to showcase their pieces in an international arena. How amazing would it be to have paps snap away at your creations? To see our celebs side by side international celebs like Ziyi Zhang and Angie Jolie in a fashion spread? Didn't this idea ever cross their minds? Like what Rachel Zoe says, I would DIE to dress these people. Just DIE.

Morning Glory

2009-05-26T06:31:00.001-07:00

A beautiful video. Both the concept and the execution are done incredibly well. Oren Lavie's whispery voice is heaven. Great song, great video.

Sun been down for days

A pretty flower in a vase

A slipper by the fireplace

A cello lying in it's case

Soon she's down the stairs

Her morning elegance she wears

The sound of water makes her dream

Awoken by a cloud of steam

She pours a daydream in a cup

A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And She fights for her life

As she puts on her coat

And she fights for her life on the train

She looks at the rain

As it pours

And she fights for her life

As she goes in a store

With a thought she has caught

By a thread

She pays for the bread

And She goes...

Nobody knows

Sun been down for days

A winter melody she plays

The thunder makes her contemplate

She hears a noise behind the gate

Perhaps a letter with a dove

Perhaps a stranger she could love

And She fights for her life

As she puts on her coat

And she fights for her life on the train

She looks at the rain

As it pours

And she fights for her life

As she goes in a store

With a thought she has caught

By a thread

She pays for the bread

And She goes...

Nobody knows

And She fights for her life

As she puts on her coat

And she fights for her life on the train

She looks at the rain

As it pours

And she fights for her life

Where people are pleasently strange

And counting the change

And She goes...

Nobody knows

Kingdom Come

2009-05-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

"We do not inherit the earth

from our ancestors,

we borrow it from

our children."

- native american proverb

Images by Itou Kouichi

The Jetsons

2009-05-26T05:03:00.000-07:00

The house is gorgeous. It feels like somewhere in the house George Jetson and his family are chilling out.

Soda Pop Love

2009-05-26T04:49:00.000-07:00

I'll take you anywhere in the world as long as...you are mine.

1. bra or no bra?

2. Couch or Sofa?

3. vaccinate or not?

4. wedding or elope?

5. polyester or wool?

6. Bikini or one piece?

7. Dog or cat?

8. Are you morning person or night?

9. what came first....the chicken or the egg?

10. if you were stranded on and island..which one item would you have to have? Unax Ugalde

11. homeschool or not?

12. Beach or city?

13. is it Grey or Gray?

14. red wine or white wine?

15. caviar or escargot?

16. soda or pop?

The Fashionable Nostradamus

2009-05-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

Light bulbs as hair accessories? anyone?

You Are A Murderer of Love!

2009-05-25T04:20:00.000-07:00

Dan in Real Life. Directed and written by Peter Hedges and Pierce Gardner. Starring Steve Carell and Juliette Binoche. Funny and endearing. Dan Burns is a lonely widower with three daughters. They drive to the family vacation place on Rhode Island where the Burns clan gather every year. At a bookstore on the first morning of the vacation he chats with a woman who lets him bare his soul. He does and they connect. But the woman is seeing someone, so she gives him her number instead and tells him to call her sometime. They part ways. He goes back to the vacation home and meets his brother's girlfriend Marie, the woman he met previously in the bookstore.

1. Steve Carell's performance in this movie is quite good. He swings from frustration to somberness to enchantment with such ease there is fluidity in each changing scene. You cannot help but root for him throughout the entire movie.

2. His lovesick daughter (played by Brittany Robertson) will make you realize how stupid you must have looked at fourteen swearing undying love to another lovesick fourteen year old boy.

3. There is great chemistry between Dan and Marie. Some sweet scenes. None too cheesy.

4. Dane Cook is chubby in this movie. I missed his abs from good Luck Chuck.

5. "Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised." Nice line. Another one: "Love isn't a feeling, it's an ability."

6. Will convince you to hold back on procreation.

7. His daughters look like they could really be siblings. Good casting.

8. "You are a murderer of love!" I was laughing like a madwoman at four o'clock in the morning.

9. Great soundtrack. Note to self: Must download later.

Vantage Point. Directed by Pete Travis and written by Barry Levy. Starring Dennis Quaid, Forrest Whitaker and Matthew Fox. A fast paced suspenseful puzzle. The President of the United States is in Salamanca, Spain, about to address the city in a public square. We see a plain-clothes cop, his girlfriend with another man, a mother and child, an American tourist with a video camera, and a Secret Service agent newly returned from medical leave. Shots ring out and the President falls; a few minutes later, we hear a distant explosion, then a bomb goes off in the square. Those minutes are retold, several times, emphasizing different characters' actions.

1. Note to self: Always keep a double nearby so she can die for me.

2. The little girl screaming in the middle of the freeway for her mother while the ambulance was speeding towards her is effing stupid. Why spend what could be the remaining last seconds of your life screaming when you can get out of the way and continue to live?

3. Terrorists don't care about killing dozens of people in a town square with a bomb but decide to swing off the road so they don't hit a little girl.

4. If you happen to be in a hotel where a politician is staying, watch out for very sweaty bellboys clutching a trigger.

5. Bomb blasts don't kill Important Characters, regardless of their proximity to them.

6. Cute helpless spanish little girls are the best way to thwart the plans of a president-kidnapping terrorist group.

7. If you catch this midway on HBO, don't bother watching the rest of the movie. You will be bewildered.

8. You will wish there is a scene of Matthew Fox undressing.

9. We need to teach our presidents self-defense.

One Missed Call. Directed by Eric Valette and written by Andrew Klaven and Yasushi Akimoto. Starring Shannyn Sossamon and Edward Burns. An awful remake of another decent Japanese horror movie. In this remake of the Japanese horror film "Chakushin Ari" (2003), several people start receiving voice-mails from their future selves -- messages which include the date, time, and some of the details of their deaths.

1. The cat in at the beginning of the movie dies along with her owner. Based on the premise of the story, she apparently received a call too.

2. Nothing much is explained about the girl who cuts her sister and who instigates the so called "curse". You will spend most of the time watching this movie confused or utterly bored.

3. The ring tone is quite creepy.

4. The blonde little girl looks like a young Reese Witherspoon.

5. After the cop dies and Sossamon's character is saved by the evil ghost's mother, the cop's phone magically dials itself and the cycle begins yet again (makes me wonder, is this how the cat was able to receive the call and dial the next victim's number despite opposable thumbs?). Ah, well. Thus we have a sequel. Ewmahgahd.

Book Eaters

2009-05-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

An update regarding the great book blockade of 2009. Below is an excerpt from Robin Hemley's response to a blogger's post. You can view the entire post here.

...But it IS accurate and no exaggeration when I stated that virtually all AIR shipments of books into the Philippines were stopped between January and March. That doesn’t mean that books were not arriving in the country – ostensibly, books on freighters were still allowed in and you could receive personal books via Amazon during that time. The exact dates were these: air shipments stopped on January 26th and the first shipments were released on March 17th, a day after Undersecretary Sales spoke with importers and book sellers, and storage fees were paid.

I didn’t have simply one source, but a number of sources, all well-placed in the book industry and all quite willing to talk with me as long as I kept them anonymous. It seemed a reasonable request and still seems so.

It’s true that I was not at Undersecretary Sales’ powerpoint presentation, but she made photocopies of the presentation for the booksellers and I was given a copy of this, detailing all of the Department of Finance’s rationalizations. It doesn’t surprise me that she expresses dismay that the booksellers and importers were not in agreement with her. I was told they tried to express their dissatisfaction, saying they would agree, “for now,” but perhaps this point was not made forcefully enough?

Interestingly, the Department of Finance initially told Customs to release the books on January 27th, but their order was ignored by Rene Agulan, and eventually, for reasons I don’t understand, Customs and the Dept. of Finance, found common ground on this issue. But at first, according to a letter (I'm away from home at the moment, so I don't have the letter in front of me, nor the letter's author, only my notes) dated March 5th to Atty Pasion-Flores of the NBDB, the examiner refused to release the books despite the fact that all previous requirements had been met, including a “certificate of membership with NBDB.” Further, it was required that the Dept. of Ed certify the books as educational, but the Dept. of Ed told the book sellers that the NBDB should rightly issue this certification. It was Agulan who apparently decided that these books were not educational, much to the collective dismay of the importers.

It’s Agulan who was the main barrier at first, and a couple of book industry people I spoke with wondered how one examiner would have such power? In any case, as I mentioned the Dept. of Finance soon backed up Agulan.

In my initial piece, I also made mention of Amazon shipments being held up at the post office over the years, and customers made to pay seemingly whimsical amounts for their books to be retrieved. But this part was edited out of the final piece.

Whether or not taxes are imposed consistently or not, it seems to me that any tax or duty, whether 1%, 5%, or 50%, whether imposed by one clerk at the post office or by the Dept. of Finance as a whole, clearly goes against the very straightforward language of the Florence Agreement. Bottom line – duties are not to be levied on imported books. If the Philippines wants to withdraw from this treaty, then that’s its right. I’m not a lawyer, and I couldn’t go into all the details in my short article, but I believe that international law trumps national and municipal law.

As one blogger eloquently puts it:

“A few thoughts on the DOF response. International treaties such as the Florence Agreement have the force of law in the Philippines, and are of co-equal status with the Tariff and Customs Code. Congress could not by law repeal commitments made via treaties, you need to withdraw from the treaty. So I disagree with her claim that Congress needs to pass a law amending the TCC to impose the 0% duty on books, that law already exists and is called the Florence Agreement.”

As far as corruption goes, there's individual corruption and then there's institutionalized corruption.

But I think it’s the red tape as much as anything that has/had book importers so frustrated, the notion that their books might be held up for months while it was judged what was educational and what wasn’t, and by whom.

I also agree that people are focusing too much on TWILIGHT.

When I wrote the piece, I wasn’t sure how much attention, if any, it would receive. I wrote it because it seemed to be an issue of importance that book lovers in the Philippines should be aware of, and it was right there under the radar. I’m glad that people are now discussing it, and I hope that some good will come of this in the long run.

Thanks!

Robin Hemley

The Department of Finance issues Department Order No. 17-09, published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer on Easter Sunday, April 12:

The Department Order institutes a regime in which all books brought into the country are deemed subject to Customs duties until or unless a complicated process of obtaining dispensations from the authorities are resorted to; and which further assumes that titles must be in small quantities and not for sale, barter, or trade to qualify for any Customs duty exemption.

The Order furthermore institutes an elaborate series of definitions for books covered by existing Duty-free importation privileges, which are definitions different from the broad classifications in the Florence Agreement; and furthermore, restricts the interpretation of the National Book Development Act to apply only to the duty-free importation of books “used for book publishing.”

The duties imposed are 1% for “educational, technical, scientific, historical or cultural books” and 5% for all other books, according to the Department of Finance’s new definitions.

Below is the letter the National Book Development Board sent to the Secretary of Justice in response to the provisons given by the DOF.

April 30, 2009

HONORABLE RAUL M. GONZALEZ

SecretaryDepartment of Justice

Padre Faura St., Manila

Dear Secretary Gonzalez:

The book reading public in the country is suddenly jolted when the Department of Finance (DOF) imposed duty on the importation of books through Department Order No. 17-09: Guidelines of Duty-Free Importation of Books, issued on 24 March 2009 by Secretary Margarito B. Teves, published on 12 April 2009 at the Phil. Daily Inquirer and is now being implemented.

We earnestly seek your opinion on said Guidelines because they run counter to Sec. 12 of RA 8047, which provides that “In case of tax and duty-free importation of books or raw materials to be used in book publishing, the Board and its duly authorized representatives shall strictly monitor the quality and volume of imported books and material as well as their distribution and the utilization of the said imported materials.”

It is interesting to note that RA 8047 or the Book Publishing Industry Development Act of 1995 was co-authored by Secretary Teves when he was a member of the House of Representatives.

Your immediate rendering of opinion on this matter will greatly benefit our reading public and the book industry.

Please find attached a copy of the DOF Guidelines and the position paper of the Book Development Association of the Philippines.

Respectfully yours,

LIRIO P. SANDOVAL

President

The people at customs and the DOF seem to be operating on the assumption that we are idiots or the irrefutable belief that we will be as a consequence of this taxing matter. It is unbelievably absurd to assume that their book taxing will not encounter public friction since it will only affect a small select segment of the population purchase and read books imported to the country. This is not and cannot be a valid argument to support their motives to tax books. First reason is this, this argument further strengthens the significant need of the government to encourage the filipinos to read more. The fact that only a miniscule percentage of the population reads is a very strong motivation to push forward our right for affordable books and the county's commitment to the florence agreement. In Malaysia, books are tax deductibles because they want their people to invest in reading and education. Our government on the other hand, is making the cost of education expensive for its people. If this pushes forward, books will become luxury items and reading will become a leisurely activity reserved for the wealthy. Second reason is because we deserve to have access to educational materials. It is the right of every filipino, not a mere privilege for the wealthy. People who could not afford such reading materials will either avoid them entirely or succumb to illegal means to have copies of their own. E-books will proliferate. The problem with this is that books are copyrighted material. It will be very easy to sell and download bootlegged E-books in the internet. I think most people also will agree with me that reading five hundred pages of literature on a computer screen is not exactly appealing.The country will become a haven for piracy.

When I was in college it was fairly difficult for me to indulge myself in leisurely reading. My allowance per day was fifty pesos, three hundred pesos in a week. I'd consider myself lucky to save even a hundred pesos by the end of the week. A hundred pesos is not enough to cover the costs of a paperback novel. The best I will be able to purchase with my hundred pesos will be a teen glossy magazine. And since teen glossy magazines were not really my thing, I'd spend my savings on necessities instead. If a secondhand book sale happened to drop by my city, I'd purchase a couple of paperbacks at fifty to seventy pesos a piece. In the small sleepy town I live in, there is only one decent bookstore that sells popular books. No Murakami for me. Meyer, Kinsella, Roberts and Coelho are aplenty. Sometimes we'd drive to Cagayan de Oro and shop for a whole day. I'd spend most of my money on a few new books. That was indulgence for me. I know how difficult it is to scavenge for loose change at the bottom of a tattered bag in order to buy that Murakami smiling from the showcase window. That was my lowest point.

For the college students making ends meet with a very strict budget I know what a big strain this will be. I would rather spend two hundred fifty pesos for three kilos of rice, a few canned products and some packets of instant noodles than a two hundred seventy three page paperback novel that I will devour in a span of two days. In these hard times where people are losing their jobs, costs are rising and needs must be met, reading for pleasure will be the last thing on everyone's mind. This matter will further the gap between the rich and the poor and perpetuate illiteracy in the country. Expensive books, this is the best way to alienate the youth from reading. We have a right to accessible and affordable books. We need to defend this right now more than ever.

Trace the timeline for the Great Book Blockade of 2009 here.

Say NO to the Philippine Book Blockade. Click here.

Update: Finally.

MANILA, Philippines - President Arroyo on Sunday ordered the Department of Finance to scrap the taxes imposed on imported books and reading material.

Press Secretary Cerge Remonde said the directive was prompted by a torrent of criticism on the move of the Bureau of Customs (BOC), which is under the supervision of the finance department, to impose the duties.

“President Arroyo ordered the immediate lifting of the customs duty on book importation,” Remonde said in a text message to The STAR.

“The President wants books to be within reach of the common man. She believes reading as an important value for intellectual formation, which is the foundation of a healthy public opinion necessary for a vibrant democracy,” he said.

Remonde said Mrs. Arroyo directed Finance Secretary Margarito Teves to revoke Finance Department Order 17-09 which imposes duty on book importation.

“Secretary Teves said he will comply immediately,” he said.

Teves earlier said the BoC has yet to compute the revenues to be generated by the taxes.

Teves, however, said that revenue generation was not the main reason for the import duties but to clarify regulations on book imports as provided by the Tariff and Customs Code of the Philippines.

The UNESCO National Commission of the Philippines (UNACOM), led by secretary-general Ambassador Preciosa Soliven, said the imposition of taxes on books runs contrary to government efforts to promote reading among children and the youth.

“Taxing imported books is tantamount to taxing reading habits. At a time when parents and educators worldwide have expressed alarm on the continuing steep decline in the reading habits and practices especially among the young, the tax measure is counterproductive to current initiatives to rekindle a reading culture,” UNACOM said in a statement.

“The measure would surely further discourage young and even old minds from appreciating, recognizing and rediscovering the value of reading,” UNACOM said.

UNESCO in Paris, France was reportedly already aware of the controversy over the BoC’s imposing duties on imported books, a clear violation of a United Nations world pact forged in 1950 where countries agreed to exempt reading and cultural materials from import duties.

John Donaldson, UNESCO senior legal officer based in Paris, said the Philippines, as a party to the Florence Agreement, must respect the principle “Pacta sunt servanda (Pacts must be respected).”

“This fundamental principle of the law of treaties, enshrined in the Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties of 1969, provides that treaties in force are binding upon the parties and must be performed in good faith,” Donaldson said.

“It follows that if the Philippines decides to apply custom duties or other charges on the importation of materials coming from another State Party, and for which the Florence Agreement foresees an exemption, it will be in breach of its obligations under this Agreement,” he said.

UNACOM said the Philippines’ Department of Foreign Affairs-Office of Legal Affairs submitted that DO No. 17-09 issued by the Department of Finance was “contrary to the Philippines’ obligations under the UNESCO Florence Agreement and is inconsistent with its principle of free exchange of ideas and knowledge.”

It took you long enough, you beastly extortionists.